Thursday, October 14, 2010
His Fan or His Biggest Hater
Sometimes I just wonder what does he think about me. If the shoe was on the other foot could I be in a relationship w/ me? After careful investigation, I came up with the conclusion that I couldn't be with me because I am too much of a nag. Ladies it is imperative that you are your mans support system, not his hater. Often times, I find myself going on and on trying to mold my guy into something that I think that he should be. This isn't healthy; I don't know why women think that they can change someone. Sometimes I justify my nagging as advice, just trying to help him go further in life; yeah that advice line is a bit of a joke. You cannot train a man on how to be the perfect man for you. He either is meant for you or he is not, accept it for what it is.
At times I think I yell and fuss just to feel empowered. I know this way of thinking is literally a mess. My little voice heightened to the max, somehow makes me feel in control. Being over bearing isn't going to bring him closer to you, it's going to push him closer to someone else. It's not fun being the angry black woman, but I am a product of my environment; I grew up around strong black woman, aka (woman w/ ABW) so I have similar characteristics. Sometimes you have to learn new lessons. I'm learning, that I don't have to start and end every argument. When he does the smallest things to piss me off I am learning NOT to fuss, yell, scream, (throw things) but I plan to pick my battles, save my antics for something that warrants the reaction.
There is a way to be in control. That's by not trying to be the leader, but being a little submissive. Let the relationship be 50/50. You have to loosen up (ciera), let him go out and do what makes him happy. Cheer for him when he is doing well. When he does something you don't like address it, in a calm manner. Yes I'm learning how to be his fan, and not his hater.
Ciera Chantál impeccableimperfections forever 10:40 PM